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In both profiles he makes it clear that he is “a trans guy” and that people should “only message me if you’re cool with that.” Part of the need for this complicated negotiation is that OKCupid doesn’t allow users to identify as “transgender”—just “male” or “female.” The site has been in the news this week after cofounder Christian Rudder announced that developers secretly changed some people's compatibility ratings and removed profile photos to learn more about behavior on the site.While some have criticized OKCupid for showing people false or manipulated content as an experiment, the site's failure to accommodate transgender users may be a larger and more long-standing ethical dilemma.Colleen, who asked that we not use her real name, is a 30-year-old transgender woman who has been dating online since she was a teenager.
Typically, she discloses after she's gotten to know someone.
Like OKCupid, Mesh has an algorithm that helps determine compatibility. If you specify characteristics or preferences you don’t want potential dates to have (Republican, vegan, straight), Mesh will block those people from seeing your profile.
On Mesh, people only see a trans person’s profile if they’ve already indicated they’re open to dating transgender people.
La Mon prefers to be out about his gender with potential dates.
He thinks people will figure it out anyway when they meet him.