Issues with dating widows

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Here's a safe place, a growing place, a way out of the shadows of grief . A dear friend, Kim, going through her third Christmas as a widow, wrote to me about yesterday's post, "3 Tips for Christmas Plans." I know that many will benefit from her experiences and responses and she kindly permitted me to post her comments today. Ferree, I think these points are so very important, even for those of us who have been widowed for years. This will be my 3rd Christmas without my beloved, and while I’m doing a lot better then I was in the past two years, I knew better then to over-do. Give yourself something to look forward to: This is the first year I’ve had a tree. :-/ Christmas potluck at church and I felt so alone, surrounded by all these happy couples and families. So I suffered through it all, came home and had a good cry, and then laid it all at the foot of the cross.

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A few were widowed only weeks before they came; for others, it had been months or years.

Yet here I was going to a weekend event specifically for widowed men and women, and it was called Camp Widow.® What would it be like? They spoke kindly and reassuringly, and gave me permission to do, wear and be whatever I needed in order to be comfortable.

It didn’t take long for all of my fears and doubts to vanish.

I was particularly moved when one attendee stopped me in the hall and said, “I have to thank you. In fact, I had never been around so many widowed people and had so much fun!

Because of what you said in that session, I now have a language to describe what I’m experiencing. There were plentiful jokes, light-hearted activities, yoga, a formal dinner that allowed for dressing up, and even a dance with an overflowing dance floor.

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